C.S.+Lewis

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Discussion Questions Second Half (apologies for potentially wrong page numbers I used a different version of the text this week. )

For the Lewis reading, read up through Friendship (about 90 pages or so in the edition we recommended) for this first week. It is considerably more than half, but there is not a good break 70 pages in. It is either 90 pages or so this week and 50 the next, or vice-versa.

1 1. 1 On page 148 Lewis quotes from St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians in speaking about the presence of Eros within marriage. Lewis reminds the readers of the importance of the entire passage that is quoted. Men are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Working out what this means for a marriage is certainly a challenge. What are some practical examples of this type of relationship? What does it really mean? 2. 2 On page 155 Lewis denotes some of the dangers theologians often point out regarding Eros. He writes, “Theologians have often feared, in this love, a danger of idolatry. I think they meant by this that lovers might idolize one another. That does not seem to me to be a real danger; certainly not in marriage. The deliciously plain prose and business-like intimacy of married life renders it absurd.” Any thoughts on this? What is Lewis referring to as the deliciously plain elements of a relationship? 3. 3 Lewis points out that we often use “love” as an excuse to forgive an action. He references a frequently referenced verse of Scripture where Jesus forgives a woman saying, “her sins, which are many, are forgiven her, for she loved much”. (Luke 7:47) Why do we seem to accept this excuse? We don’t forgive when actions are motivated by other emotions. Any other frequent misuses of Scripture that are used to justify specific attitudes? 4. 4 In the opening of Chapter 5 on Charity Lewis begins with the example of garden needed to be constantly acted upon to allow the plants within to reach their full beauty. He contrasts these lines with then now present conflict where the lesser loves of friendship, eros, and the like can actually prevent us from growing in the love of God. What do you think of his garden analogy? Can you think of examples in your own life of that of another where a lower form of love has prohibited you from growing in love of God? 5. “5To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entaglements; lock it up safe in a casket or coffin of your selfish-ness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” Page 169 Do a little thinking here regarding people you know? Is this true? Is there some definite good in taking some risk regarding love and having your heart broken? What of Lewis’ thoughts on those who go their whole life without taking a risk? Do you agree? 6. 6 “To make room for the gold we must throw away the silver”. Is this true in regards to God’s love. Can you think of some examples from our Catholic moral teaching regarding how giving up one good in exchange for a higher good is extolled? 7. 7 On pages 186-187 Lewis points out rather clearly the hope that through the power of the Resurrection and God’s willingness to take on and assume our own nature that our goods / loves on earth that are so imperfect now will be made perfect in the future. What is so unique about this teaching? How does it allow Christians a unique view of reality? Of material things? 8. 8 On page 188 Lewis takes up the topic of heaven. I’d dare to argue if we all spent five minutes a day just trying to think of heaven we’d all be better off. We tend to forget about the existence of heaven quite often. But what of Lewis’ thoughts on our current friendships and relationships now and their eternal value? “For, surely, to meet in the eternal world someone for whom your love in this, however strong, had been merely natural, would not be (on that ground) even interesting. Would it not be like meeting in adult life someone who had seemed to be a great friend at your preparatory school solely because of common interests and occupations? If there was nothing more, if he was not a kindred soul, he will now be a total stranger.” Does this ring true in your own life regarding past friends? 9. 9 Lewis ends with reflecting on the thought that in heaven we will all be perfected an easier to love. I’ve often heard it said that “holiness is happiness”. In thinking of the happiest people I know I’m not surprised to see that they are also the holiest. Does this hold true for you as well?

Discussion Questions:

1. On page 3 of the introduction Lewis writes, "Every Christian would agree that man's spiritual health is exactly proportional to his love for God". How do we gage our spiritual health? Is our closeness to God measured by the quality of our prayer life, the resolve of our commitments, or is there some other objective measure? Is it safe to say we are either growing closer to Christ or falling farther away?

2. On the bottom of page 4 and the top of page 5 Lewis reflects on the differences between, animals, human beings, and angels. Do you agree with his assessment? Fallen humanity is offered an opportunity for redemption? Do you ever wonder why the fallen angels were not given such a chance?

3. In the Chapter titled "Likings and Loves for the Sub-human Lewis focuses on need-loves. These basics needs and necessities can often dominate the majority of our thinking. These loves are tied to biological needs initially. He goes on to point out that perhaps for the English and Russians there develops an affection for nature. Some would say the French have an affection for food. What causes certain cultures to elevate certain need-loves to the point of affections? Are there any need-loves that culturally we have elevated to the level of "affection"? Page 17 contains an helpful quote, "Appreciate love gazes holds its breadth and is silent, rejoices that even such a wonder should exist even if not for him, will not be wholly dejected by losing her, would rather have it so than to never to have seen her at al.l"

4.On pages 22-27 Lewis covers the topic of Patriotism - a type of strong affection. What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you agree with the assessment provided by Lewis? Some would say after 911 that Americans are more patriotic? Is this a good type of patriotism?

5. On page 30 Lewis writes, "Here it will be enough to say that the book that the heavenly society is also an earthly society. Our (merely natural) patriotism towards the latter can very easily borrow the transcendental claims of the former and use them to justify the most abominable actions. If ever the book which I am not going to write is written it must be the full profession of Christendom of Christendom's specific contribution to the sum of human suffering, until we have publicly disowned much of our past. Why should they? We have shouted the name of Christ and enacted the service of Moloch." How important is this for the claims of Christianity to be credible? How do you judge the holiness of the Church? What does it mean to know the weeds will always be with the wheat?

6. On page 33 Lewis point out what he calls the "familiar" nature of affection. On 34 he writes, "Affection almost slinks or seeps through our lives. It lives with humble un-dress, private things; soft slippers, old clothes, old jokes, the thump of a sleepy dog's tail on the kitchen floor, the sound of a sewing machine, a gollywog left on the lawn." What are the familiar items or experiences that rouse a sense of affection in our own lives? Which of these are common to most Americans? Catholics? Midwesterners?

7. On page 37 the idea of affection leading to tolerance is proposed by Lewis. "In my experience it is Affection that creates this taste, teaching us first to notice, then to endure, then to smile at, then to enjoy, and finally to appreciate, the people who happen to be there." Does this ring true in your experience? Can you think of a time where your expectation of a potential experience (certain teacher or coach) was misinformed?

8. On pages 42-44 Lewis brings up a danger of affection: jealousy. Why do we sometimes feel jealous of the accomplishments of others? The friend who makes it into the top school? The teammate who wins the full ride scholarship? The coach who moves on to a college level?

9. Another danger of affection lies in misplacing it. On pages 52-53 Lewis brings up the concern of those who place disordered affection on animals. Do you agree? Is he off base on this one? No offense to anyone who hoards cats. [|This might entertain you]. I find it deeply disturbing.

10. "To say these are my friends implies those are not." -- page 60 "Lovers are normally face to face, friends side by side." page 61 "That is why those pathetic people who simply "want friends" can never make any. The very condition of having friends is that we should want something else besides friends." page 66. What do you think of these quotes? Agree, disagree? Why?

11. Lewis proposes some profound gender differences in regards to friendship. Summarizing a few of the pages the argument essentially follows that men need friendship more than women and tend to focus their conversations and activities around common interests whereby women focus their interests and conversations on themselves. Agreed? Has this been your experience? Consider analyzing your lunch room discussions next Monday and seeing what you come up with? Would Lewis' assertions ring true amongst your own social circles?

12. "She does not realize that her husband whom she succeeds in isolating from his own kind will not be very well worth having; she has emasculated him. She will grow to be ashamed of him herself. Nor does she remember how much of his life lies in places where she cannot watch him. New friendships will break out, but this time they will be secret. Lucky for her, and lucky beyond her desserts, if there are not soon other secrets as well." page 76. I find this quote to be very profound. What do you think? The issue of control / freedom / jealousy of friendships is always an interesting topic. Is Lewis right on? Is there another reverse danger?